be right for him, but don't expect him to be right for you-coach Lala

last saturday, march 12 i made an easy decision of foregoing the formal dinner to have a simple dinner with someone special in Jollibee. here i go again, starnded in obscure thoughts inside my head. YES, i'm happy with the fact that we're somwhat close again. receiveing that text message from you about that dinner was one of the best things i had last week. sounds pathetic but it's true. "Be right for him, but dont expect him to be right for you." These were the words that i remember from coach. it made me think of a lot of things. a friend of mine told me that i should not look at your gestures as you being a "user-friendly" being. i realized that simply by helping you, i feel a sense of happiness.

dancing with you at the sort of racket for a retiring employee was another thing. i was really glad you were there. a lot of things have been happening lately. things that have brought me joy and peace. i hope this will go on, like before. i know nothing lasts forever. but i hope that this temporary state of happiness will last.

i'm loooking forward to those bora days we'll have. i bet all of us will enjoy the trip. sunset, sand, surf, alcohol, fun, sexy bodies and a whole lot of adventures. these will be the things i'll look forward to.

isang araw

ang gulo ng buhay. pero kahit magulo man ito, masaya pa rin. pagkatapos ng meeting kanina, natuwa ako dahil una, "yumaman" ako. hehehe. may pera na naman akong susunugin. shopping ulet! pangalawang rason: teamates tayo. nagkunwari akong di affected, pero sa totoo, super saya ko. hahay. babatukan na talaga ako nito.panagtlong rason: ang saya mag pa picture. di ako camera shy. obvious ba? hehehe. saya ng unahan sa cam. at syempre, katabi kita sa isa sa mga pics.

un lang ang masaya. oh well, nakakaloka as usual ang mga hirit ni suy. sira talaga ung babaeng un. pano, badet kasi. pero sa totoo lang, medjo tinatamaan ako pero OK lang. tough guy ata to. walang panahonsa pag-iyak. swerte mu naman.

feeling ko masaya ang bora ngayon. daming taong bago, dami ding nawala. hahay. kainis, pero ok lang. basta, mananalo ang lau lau lau DILAW! the best yata kami sa cheering!

oh well, weird. walang reli ang mga sinulat ko sa title ng blog na ito. la lng. feel ko lang mag share ng araw ko. di ko masyadong trip mag senti. saka na yun. lagi ako senti. inaantok na ako.

basta. saka na ang senti. basta masaya me. may pang shopping eh. hehehe

over and out

Missing you

Everytime I think of you I always catch my breath
And I'm still standing here, and you're miles away
And I'm wondering why you left

And there's a storm that's raging
Through my frozen heart tonight

I hear your name in certain circles
And it always makes me smile
I spend my time thinking about you
And it's almost driving me wild

And there's a heart that's breaking
Down this long distance line tonight

I ain't missing you at all (missing you)
Since you've been gone away (missing you),
I ain't missing you (missing you)
No matter what I might say (missing you)

There's a message in the wire
And I'm sending you the signal tonight
You don't know how desperate I've become
And it looks like I'm losing this fight

In your world I have no meaning
Though I'm trying hard to understand

And it's my heart that's breaking
Down this long distance line tonight

I ain't missing you at all (missing you)
Since you've been gone away (missing you),
I ain't missing you (missing you)
No matter what my friends say (missing you)

And there's a message that I'm sending out Via telegraph to your soul
And if I can't bridge this distance Stop this heartbreak overload

death is the mother of beauty

march 3, 2005. i just got home from an overnight for a report on friday. march 3, 2 days after the successful ELEVATE V concert. 2 days after that walk. here i go again. wallowing on thoughts that do no good to me. thoughts that cause me pain and heartache.

after that walk, while i was getting ready to sleep, i realized i had to do one hard thing-letting you go. toooooooooooooot!

grabe, eto na naman ako. nagsusulat about sa kasawian ko sa buhay. ewan ko ba bat sobrang emotional ako for the past days. ganito talaga siguro pag tumatanda at walang nagmamahal sayo. mahirap, masakit, malungkot. di ko kinaya ang breaking news, ung friend daw namin, may BF na. biglang dumilim paningin ko. na lost ako. paksyet! bat ganito? lagi na lang akong huli sa pag ikot ng mundo. ako na lang ang laging walang karir. syet to earth talaga!

sabi ng friend ko, kakausapin daw nya si keebler (di totoong pangalan). naawa na kasi siya sa akin. hahay. di ko kelangan ng awa, kelanagan ko pagmamahal! hahay. lecheng love talaga! potah. sabi ko sa friend ko, wag nya gagawin kundi matutunaw ako. ayoko mag mukhang pathetic noh! pride ko na pinaguusapan dito!

hahay. ewan. di ko nga alam kung san nangaling ung mga text ko kagabi. at eto pa, hiritan daw ba ako na papayag xa "to fool around with me". hahay. tempting. napaisip ako. pagkakataon toh, pero ngek! taken xa. ayoko maging dahilan ng gulo. di ako manununulot! di ako kagaya ng iba jan. syet! inagaw ang lahat sa akin! (wahaha! bitter talaga).

sawa na ako sa pagiging bitter. napapagod na ako sa kakaisip sa kay keebler. ayoko na sa mangagamit, ayoko na rin magpagamit. wish ko lang di ko kainin mga sinabi ko di ba. naalala ko tuloy ung kanta ni selena sevilla ata, ung "nilunok kong lahat, at di nagtira...blah blah blah!". basta un na un.

wala pa akong tulog. pukpukan na naman ulit to. di ko nga alam kung ano na nangyayari sa classes ko eh. bahala na. wala pa akong excuse letter. sino kaya ang meron? hmmm. ung asawa kong mangga kaya?