Angst

These past few weeks, I have been thinking. Pondering on whether I should hold on or let go of some of the most important things in my life. Events bothered me. Is it really time for me to go and live a new life?



Life. I’m tired of everything. My work is not what I wanted, my love life is a black hole, my social life is slowly fading and worse of all, I’m gaining weight. Is it because I’m getting older and that I am just experiencing a life crisis?



Work. I have always imagined myself in a very dynamic environment full of surprises and stress. I said that I would never take a job that would confine me within the cold walls of the office. Gulp. I just ate my words. It has been 10 months and 22 days since I started working in IBM. Nice working environment, I have my own flat screen monitor, own direct phone line, unlimited internet access and flexi time. Sounds good huh? But auditing has never been my cup of tea. I’m far too unpredictable for that.



Love. February is fast approaching. As usual, love life rating: ZERO. I guess I’m just another bitter being trying to be the Grinch of Valentines day. Love and get hurt. Get hurt and learn. Learn and love again. Whatever. I’m sick and tired of getting hurt. My heart’s too beaten black and blue to love again. Maybe in the future I’ll fall again. Right now, I’ve learned that, if you want to be miserable, go ahead and fall in love.



Party. I’m too old to party. I’d rather sit down and have a movie marathon or chill out at Starbucks sipping frappe. All of us eventually will get tired of the sleepless nights of partying, the hangovers etc.



Weight. This calls for desperate measures. I want to lose weight ASAP in time for the concert. I don’t even eat rice! I’ll take diet pills. I hope it works.



This sucks.



Life’s a bitch.