Na mimiss kita, bakit ba?

Minsan sa buhay natin may mga taong sadyang darating para guluhin ang mundo natin. Ung iba ay may magandang naidudulot, ung iba ay pawang kaguluhan lang. Beautiful disaster. Bakit may ganon? Bakit may mga tao na kahit sandali pa lang nakikilala ay parang ang lalim na ng naging ugnayan nyo? Bakit sa sandaling panahon na kayo'y nagsama ay parang nabago niya buhay mo?

OA pakinggan na maiinlove ka sa isang taong sandali mo pa lang nakakasama. Nagtanong ako sa mga kaibigan ko. Gano katagal mo ba iddate ang isang tao bago mo ma realize na pwede nga siyang maging partner? Ilang araw? Linggo? Buwan? O aabot pa ba ng taon? Iba iba ang naging sagot nila. May isa na naramdaman na niya pagkatapos ng sila'y nagtalik na siya ring una nilang pagkikita. Meron naman pagkatapos ng ilang linggo o ilang buwan. May kanya kanyang oras ika nga. Pero lahat sila ay pareho nung sinabi nilang kusa mo na lang mararamdaman. Walang oras na sinasanto or sinusunod. Nagyayari na lang. Parang bombang sasabog sa mukha mo.

Bakit ko ba tinatanong ang mga ito? Simple lang. May gusto ako. Oo, minsan lang nangyayari sa akin to kaya pagbigyan nyo na ako. Un nga lang, di niya alam kung gusto niya rin ako. Naguguluhan pa. Di sanay sa ganitong bagay. Napagdaanan ko na to dati pa pero di ibig sabihin nun ay dalubhasa na ako sa laranagan na ito. Ngayon, di niya ako kinakausap.

Di ko alam kung permanente na ito o panandalian lamang. Nahihirapan daw siya sa mga pangyayari. Ang bilis. Ang gulo.

Di lang ikaw ang naguiguluhan. Di lang ikaw ang nahihirapan. Alam mo bang na mimiss ko mga text mo? Namimiss ko ang pagpapacute mo. Namimiss ko ang pagtatampo mo pati na rin ang pangaaway mo sa akin. Na mimiss ko ang pabango mong Clinique Happy at Charriol. Pag naaamoy ko yun ay ikaw ang unang pumapasok sa isip ko. Namimiss ko ang mahahabng pilik mata mo. Namimiss ko ang mga mata mo kung saan bakas ang pagaalinlangan, kaba at tuwa habang nakikita mo ako.

Sa madaling sabi, na mimiss na kita... ng bonggang bongga.

Sana kausapin mo na ako. Sana ay maalala mo ako kahit ilang saglit lang sa araw mo. Sana maisip mo na andito ako, hinihintay ang pagbabalik mo.

Eclipse

Can't wait for June 30, 2010

Just When You Thought You Had a Chance

My friends always say that I'm in the running for being an old maid or whatever you may call it. They say that I do not need anybody to survive unlike others who are in dire need to have a partner. Personally, I think so too. But sometimes, I think about the possibility of having somebody. It would be nice for a chance.

Through the years I never had a chance of landing a happy ending in my pursuit of finding the right one. Why is it so hard to find one person to love and who will love you back? Why do some people change partners as if they are changing clothes? Why do some people have the luck in the love department while others will have to settle for watching romantic flicks and imaging themselves in the shoes of the characters on screen?

A few days ago, I met an amazing person. I gathered all my strength to ask for his number, send a text and hope for the best. Somehow after a thousand texts in a 5-day period, we got to know each other. Shared a lot of insights and opened up. Honestly I was hesitant because he was younger and totally unsure of himself. Obviously I had to put up with all the immature remarks and confusing texts. One minute he says yes, then the next minute, he says no.

I am not used to these things. I never had a steady relationship and the last time I thought that I could fall in love again was three years ago. I thought I had a chance this time. I thought we had a chance together. Then, a few minutes ago, things turned sour. I guess I screwed up. I dunno. He is young, undecided and a total virgin (so he says) to these things. I on the other hand is wiser (i think), totally sure and definitely not a newbie.

He's more of a home buddy, has a few friends, doesn't drink and quite the shy and timid type. I'm the total opposite. I'm loud, carefree, a social butterfly who loves to down booze and have a good time with friends.

So how can two totally opposite individuals end up together?

Science says that opposite poles attract. How come it does not apply to us?

Are we just two lost souls looking for answers who happen to bump into each other but ended up drifting apart?

Will I ever get my happy ending?

Fairy tales end when they are not meant to happen.

I guess I'll have to lie and sleep for now and wait for Prince Charming to rescue me from my dreamless sleep.


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To you, I hope you figure out what you really want. Step out of your comfort zone. You'll never know what you want unless you've tried it. Sometimes you'll have to break all the rules just to be happy.

Telephone

Enough said.