seeing him cry for the first time i've known him made mee feel sorry. i wanted to hug him, comfort him and tell him that everything is going to be OK. last night, looking at him with tears in his eyes, i felt a twitch in my heart. deep down i knew that he was hurt and somewhere inside me i knew that wanted to be by his side. i realized that after everything that has happened, i still care for him- SOOOOO MUCH! i don't know why i still feel this way. here i am, stuck in this feeling yet i can't do anything about it. i wanted to tell him everything but i never got the chance to do it.
for the past months, i tried to keep myself busy. to focus on other things to forget him. to go out and explore the world beyond HIM. i wanted to let it all go yet i can't. i still am and very much into him. i don't know why i feel this. can this be love? every single day that i see him , i tried my best to hide all the good memories that we've shared in the past. sadly, the past is keeping up with me. those memories were too good to be forgotten.
on our way home, i sensed that he was really down. i saw the pain in his eyes yet i could not do anything. i assured him that if he needed my help, i would always be here, like i have always been. he wanted to quit the squad and told me that the only thing that kept him going were the people, the friendship. i told him that all us had been in this point wherein we wnated to quit and give in to our emotions. i knew that he was stronger than he thought he was. i knew that all he needed was enough rest and sleep. today is just one of those bad days and tomorrow will be another day.
i knew that without him , my life would not have been the same.
before going to bed, i told him:
"i'll always be here for you, no matter what happens."
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