MYMP

as i got home, i felt my entire body aching in pain because of the training. a lot of people asked me why i looked so gloomy and stressed out. all i could do is nod or utter a few words. as i went upstairs to get ready to sleep, i felt the intense pain in my butt muscles (got the pain from training ok?). i wanted to ask someone to give me a massage but nobody was around. all the people were either downstairs having their sigsheets signed or they were somewhere else.

i tucked myself in bed to get ready to sleep. SLEEP. one the things that i love doing. my body is accustomed to sleeping really late and waking up really early. good thing i have the entire day to sleep (except during mondays and thursdays). my body wanted to rest but my mind wanted to do other things. i got my roomate's CD player and listened to the versions of MYMP.

first song was "true colors". i listened to every single word sang by the vocalist. while listening, my mind started filling in crazy thoughts. as the song played on, tears bgan to form in my eyes. corny as it may sound, the "bad songs" made the "big baby" cry. YES, i easily cry over sentimental song, movies and the like yet i am as hard as a boulder when it come to real-life situations.

what thought made me cry? simple. i just miss him. today is july 1, actually july 2. the clock just ticked to start a new day. JULY 2004 was the month when everything started. i could not forget the day we went to the UAAP opening dresed in matching PEP hirts which made his batchmates green with envy because they didn't have the shirt that we were wearing. until now, i still have the tickets with me.

JULY 10, 2004 was the day when we were at the dorm urfing the net. that was the day when we created his email and his friendster account. i even knew the passwords. this was also the month when i got the first text from him that puzzled me. from then on, more and more fond moments followed. those were the days that i was happy.

sadly, all of those are now just a part of my past. memories that will forever be with me. i could remember all the good and wacky times that we shared. i remember the day when everything started to fall apart. i remembered the day when you made everything clear. i remembered the day you wanted mt to walk out of your life.

sad but true. if only i could turn back time. if only i wasn't really that stupid. yes, i had my faults and you had yours. but i guess luck was not on our side. we parted ways yet remained as "friends", are we? there was never an us. that was clear. both of us knew that we were just friends yet everyone around us are saying that we were too close for comfort to be just friends.

as i wake up each brand new day, i always long for that day when i could leave all these feelings behind. to let go of all the pain and move on with my life. my life would have never been the same without you in it. i have survived 20 years of my life without you in it, there is no reason why i can't survive now.

the past year has been a roller coaster ride for all of us. the thrill of this ride has been in my system for a year now. i still feel every drop, twist and turn. the dizzy feeling still lingers in me. i just hope it disappears soon.

soon enough...