on the edge

the past days have been nothing but blur. the opening of the UAAP season marked the start of an exciting yet tiring and stressfull season. the trainings have been killer than they have ever been. people have been starting to get sick. REST is not in the vocabulary of the pep squad. everyone is trying to psh himself over the limits. muscle strain, rattling bones, sprained ankles and sleepless nights-these are the common things that all peple suffer from. as the sem progresses, projects, reports, theses, feasibility studies, papers and othe academics stuff have been taking most of our time.

"compet na." that's what they always say. yet right now, all i feel is fatigue and stress. last monday i wanted to quit. to let go of my slot and resume a normal life. i want to have control over my time. i realized thogh that why should i give up now when thi is my first and only chance to comepete? many people want to be in the line-up and here i am, contemplating on leaving. it's irrational.

the gymanstics training last monday took the best off me. after jogging the entire acad oval, i felt my energy going down the drain. i could no longer do the skills. i was making mistakes and someone was there shouting at me like i was deaf. PROFESSIONALISM- that was what happened. yet for the first time in my 3 years with the squad i felt agitated and angry that i wanted to walk out, to cry it all out in the restroom. i guess it was just the stress. that was it. no harm done.

on that samw day i went to audition as show dancer for disney hongkong. as xpected we didn't pass. the best dancers in the industry were there-POWERDANCE, STEPS PIPS, Ms. Julie Ayalde, Sir Van Manalo, UST Salinggawi dancers, Bambi of star dance and all other intimidating people.

today is another day of training and school stuff. i hope i get through this. i know i will.