26

OK, I've been procrastinating. I kept on delaying my birthday post. What's new? Well, I just added another year to my age which makes me nearer to going over the days of the calendar. Yup, I pay attention to that. Haha! So, what did I do on my special day? Nothing.

When I woke up last Monday, August 16, I put on my new top with the cray cray shoulders, black pants and my grey Zara shoes. I finished the look with my chain necklace and Zara bag. Same old day, went to work, went home, watched TV, then slept. The only thing that made my day was the deluge of greetings from friends over Facebook. I think I got over 150+ messages on my wall from my friends. That really made me feel special.

So how was my 25th year? Left work. Bummed for five months. Got flat broke, i mean really really broke. Fell in love, got hurt. Partied like crazy. Danced like it was the last time I could do it. Met people, traveled a bit. All in all, steady but totally memorable.

Thoughts for the coming year/s? Honestly, the top on my list is to settle debts and maybe get an MBA next year. Those are the immediate plans. There's also the 4 trips I booked via Cebu Pacific. As I always say, bahala na si Batman. Come what may.

I guess it come with the 'growing up' part that you tend to focus on other things. A friend once told me: "Live carefree. Let's take life seriously when we're thirty.". Makes sense. But I don't want to still feel lost by that time. So from now on, I'll try my best to find what's best for me. Hey, I'm not getting any younger so might as well start early. Well, it's late already, but still. hahaha!

Well, as for my lovelife? I dunno. Really. I somehow missed being single after being in my first relationship for three months. Now, I somehow miss having a default date during weekends. When I wake up on Saturdays and Sundays, I have the entire day all to myself, nothing to do, and no one to be with. I know I've always been independent and do things on my own. But sometimes, you just wanna be with somebody, be it a friend or a special someone.

Even if I'm all this stuck up bitch who does not want people to see my vulnerable side, I still feel lonely. I like being alone but I hate feeling lonely. There was a point last Monday that I felt sad. A friend offered to keep me company but I guess I was too lazy to go out anyway. Maybe the birthday blues got me, for a while. But then, I started to feel better again, then the rest was history.

Well, I sorta waited for someone to greet me. I didn't expect much. OK, fine, I did, a bit though. He said that he would greet me. Well, he didn't. Silly me. Here I was kinda waiting but it never came. Oh well, I guess he has indeed moved on. As for me? Yep, I think so. But I guess I'm too scared to be in a relationship again.

A friend told me that I wasn't ready, that I was selfish and self-centered. Well, she had a point. At least I know that I am one. There's room for improvement, right?

Maybe someday I will get to meet that person who'll make everything seem irrelevant. That every moment with that person is the only thing that matters. Well, designer shoes and bags still matter. Anyway, I still yet to find that person who'll make my heart bounce every time I see him. Who'll warm my heart with his genuine smile. Who will make me laugh 'til tears with his jokes. Someone who will challenge my thoughts with his ideas. A person who will make me whole. A person who'll make me feel LOVED.

I can only dream. If others found their match, then maybe someday, I will too.

For now, I'll live my life the way I want to. Do things my own way. Then maybe, just maybe, along the way, I bumped into him.