bOrAcAy

as i packed my things for my departure for the paradise called boracay, i thisnk about the possible things that will happen there. right now, there are a lot of things racing inside my head. i'm happy because finally the sem is over. i am happy because i'm going to enjoy the sand, sea and surf of bora with some of my closest friends. but beneath this facade lies an unexplained loneliness. yes, i still am sad. i dont know why.

for months i've struggled to let it all go. sadly, things around me would not permit me to do so. i see him almost every day. he asks for my help on just about anything. well, that's how he remembers me. he remembers me as someone he can count on when he needs clothes, pep related stuff, BA matters and the like. did he ever see me more than that?

i dont know what the answer is. all i i can say is that is how i feel. did i ever matter to him? did he ever look at me more than just a friend? did he ever consider how i feel? these questions, i guess, will remain unanswered.

as the clock ticks to 1.30, i feel the excitement setting in. will i enjoy this trip? will i bear the pain of seeing him with someone else? will i get the chance to talk to him? these are yet to be answered. but the biggest question would be:

"WILL I GET OVER HIM?"

maybe, maybe not. i dont know. i am counting on this trip for me to think things over. may the sand , sea and surf give me peace of mind and heart.

it will be long before i will be able to write in here. i bet, the next time that i will be here, the blog will be long. really long.