"i'm so proud of you."

"i'm so proud of you."

these are the words i always hear from my friend mac gregor kho.
i always ask him "why?".
then he answers "because you have found somebody you really love."

i just keep quiet and gather my thoughts. yes, i have found the one person who has made me fall in love with for a nymber of reasons.i dont know why i continue to feel this way. logic tell me to stop, it's wrong. but how can something be wrong when it feels so right? ironic huh?

for months, i tried to move on and find someone else. but to my dismay, i just cant let it all go.i'm so attached with the past. the past. those were the days that i felt really happy. everything just seemed so easy. everything started really sweet, and eventually ended up sour.

if you are reading this blog, you will feel the bitterness in me. yes, i admit that after all these months, i still can't let it all go. to get things straight,there was never an us, so there was nothing to end and mend.

i said to myself, i'll never cry, he's not going to be the first prick who's going to make my tears fall. am that tough? or is it just my pride? i guess it's the latter. a cool couple once told me "yes,you are too tough to cry, but are you happy?". i answered "NO, i'm not."

crying is a way of showing our vulnerable side. i guess i'm as hard as a rock. the last time i cried was during the tribute night of the org. it was good. during that time, all i wanted was to cry my heart out. not just because i'll miss my batchmates, but because everything that happened to me for the past four years of my colleg life.

this journey would have never been this nice if i had not met the people who made me see how beautiful life is. they made me realize that life does not end in a heartbreak. that love is not just for the hopeless romantic.

they are the people whom i call my FRIENDS. they were there during the best days, and lifted me up during the worst. we may have had our differences, but one this is for sure. you guys rocked my world. without you, i would have been lost.