i knew he was going to turn my world upside down, my brained warned me, but my heart didn't want to take its advice.

isang araw, may magkakaibigang nag-uusap.

"hanggang kelan ka ba magiging ganyan?"

"huh? magiging ano? di kita gets."

"magiging bitter."

"ahhh. ewan ko. di ko alam. pero malapit na mawala."

"ok. sabi mo eh. may mga tao talagang nahihirapan ma-get over."

"oo nga. isa ata ako dun."

"hahay. ano ba kasi ang meron siya at di mo pa makalimutan?"

"di ko nga alam eh. tinatanong ko rin yan sa sarili ko, nahihirapan akong sumagot."

"mahal mo lang, ganun?"

"oo. nagising na lang ako isang araw, mahal ko na."

"at bakit?"

"well, maganda mga mata niya. ang cute nya tingnan, magaling sumayaw, maganda katawan. ayun."

"ngek! un lang?"

"well, marami pa. di ko nga alam. di naman siya ganun ka gwapo. mukha pa ngang elf minsan eh. hehehe."

"sira ulo ka. manlait daw ba!"

"di ah, nagsasabi lang ng totoo."

"whatever!"

"ewan ko nga ba friend, mahal ko talaga kahit sobrang nasaktan na ako at lahat."

"ano ba talagang nangyari? naging kayo ba?"

"hahay. wish ko lang. NEVER naging KAMI."

"so ano un, close friends lang?"

"oo, parang ganun na nga.”

“ahhh. Eh bat di mo siya makalimutan?”

“kasi, umasa ako na isang araw, magiging kami.”

“at bakit ka umasa?

“eh naman, kung titingnan mo kami parang KAMI talaga. Minsan, tinanaong ko xa kung ano ba talaga kami. Sabi niya friends, special friends. Sagot ko, oo nga friends lang tayo pero everybody else around us is saying that we’re too close for comfort to be just friends.”

“ganun?”

“oo. Naaalala ko pa ung days nung lagi pa kaming magkasama. Ang saya namin nun. Magkasama kami halos buong araw. Pag may free time siya, magtetext un at hahanapin ako tapos punpuntahan niya ako. Pag gabi at super bored siya sa dorm, tatanungin niya ako kung busy daw ba ako. Kung hindi, he’ll ask me kung pwede ko bad daw siya ipuslit sa dorm. Ayun, tapos dun siya matutulog. Tabi kami.”

“di nga? Tabi kayo? As in tabi?”

“oo noh. Eh ano naman kung tabi kami?”

“wala lang. may nangyari?”

“gago. Sira ulo toh. Wala noh! Kahit sobrang gusto ko siya. It never crossed my mind ang ganun.”

“seryoso ka ba? Kaw pa, eh ang landi mo.”

“shit ka! Di noh. Mahal ko talaga un kaya ganun.”

“oo na, sabi mo eh. Kaibigan mo ako kaya naniniwala ako. O ano pa?”

“basta, ang saya ko nung mga araw na un!”

“alam ba niya na mahal mo siya? “

“oo, nasabi ko sa kanya.”

“o ano nangyari?”

“ewan. Gulo nga eh. May times na OK lang, pero may times din na nag freak out siya.”

“labo.”

“labo talaga.”

“so, ano ba talaga siya? PLU ba siya?”

“yan ang tanong na di ko masagot hanggang nagyon. Kahit sobrang galling ng radar ko.”

“duh. Eh sa opinion mo, ano siya?”

“feeling ko, di pa niya matanggap sarili na or kinda confused pa.”

“siguro nga. So malamang, iniyakan mo na?”

“hahaha!!! Yan ang isang bagay na di ko ginawa at wala akong planong gawin. DI SIYA ANG UNANG LALAKING MAGPAPAIYAK SA AKIN!.”

“aba. Statement ah!”

“talaga! I’m too tough to cry. I need to be strong not only for myself but also for the people around me.”

“naks! Tatag mo. Iba ka.”

“oo nga eh. Di ko nga alam san ako kumukuha ng lakas.”

“hahay. Iba talaga ang nagagawa ng pag-ibig noh?”

“oo nga eh. Dami ko natutunan kahit di man nagging kami. Minsan din naman ako naging masaya eh. Ok na un!”

“ok ba talaga o sarcastic ka?”

“ok lang ako. Natanggap ko na na kahit kelan never magiging kami.”

“ok lang yan. Kaya mo yan. Basta andito kami. Anu ba? Ang dami jan sa paligid oh!”

“oo nga. Hahay. Sana nga mawala na toh.”

TUTOOT! TUTOOT!

“Ay, tara na. alis na tayo. Hinihintay na nila tayo sa mcdo.”

“o tara. Sa susunod ko na itutuloy kwento ko. Uy, wag ka maingay ha? Pramis?”

“yep, pramis!”
“pramis? As in kahit pumutok man suso ng nanay mo?”

“hahaha. Gago! Oo na! pramis!”

“o xa, tara!”


itutuloy...

life doesn't end when love fades

"Love and get hurt, get hurt and learn, learn and love again."

i encountered these words back when i was still in hight school. through the years, i've had my share of falling in and falling out of love experiences. they suck. they suck big time. you can't do the things you normally do without thinking about the person. your entire life suddenly revolves around one person as if he's the sun, the center of your universe, the reason for everything.

when we are in love, we risk it all. hoping that the other person will love us back. all people excahnge signals. signals that become the basis of one's actions and decisions. a simple gesture may send one drifting off to dreamland while an innocent text message may drive one nuts to the brink of suicide. you see, there are a lot of interpretations to these things. interpretatations that would change lives, affect people, make and break relationships, strengthen bonds or even ruin someone's life.

many people think that life after a heartbreak will never be the same. in a way, YES. they are right. After each heartbreak that we encounter, we come out of it as a new person who learned something from that failed relationship. one must see the light in every dark hour that passes by life. we learn things, appreciate people, lookback on the good times and learn to let go.

Moving on is easy, letting go is the hardest thing to do. it's not easy to let it all go, to forget all those memories, to change the activities you usually do. you have to learn to accept the way things are. bitterness will always be there. it is normal. there will be a point wherein you'll learn how to accept it all. erase all the bitterness inside and just be happy for both of you. all of us deserves a second chance. it's up to us to make the most out of every relationship that we have.

tamang panahon

AnG PaGmaMahaL duMadaTinG
sa
TaManG
oRas At TamaNg paGkaKataOn..MinsaN
SiniSiSi Pa NatiN anG saRiLi NaTin KuNg
BaKiT
NgaYon Mo LaNg NaLamaNg MahaL Mo
Sya..

KunG aLam Mo LaNg...

NgaYon Mo LanG Yon NaLaMan Kasi EtO
YunG
TiNataWag Na "TAMANG PANAHON"..

SoMe ThiNk Of LoVe As a PasT TimE..FLinG
At
TrIp LaNg..YunG MaHaL Nya NgayOn..BuKas
HiNdi Na...BoYfriENd Nya NgaYon Pero
TaNggaP Nya Na IsaNg aRaw TaTawaGin
Nya
din Yung "EX"..

MataGal Nga,,inaAboT pa Ng taOn pErO
ILaNg
taoN??1? 2? 3? Tapos PaG
nagKakaSawaAn na
NagAAyaWaN Na At MaY iBa NamaN Na
NagTataGal LanG ng TaoN daHiL
naNghihiNayaNg sa PinagsamaHan...

BaTa Pa MasYado aNg
ganoNg magmahaL...

MaY iBa NaMaN Na MasYadOng SeryoSo At
SenSiTiBo Pag DatIng Sa baGay Na yAn..
YuNg
TipO Ng TaoNg haNdaNg iRisK AnG laHat..
MagBigaY.. MagParaYa.. PaRaLaNg DoN sa
TaoNg maHaL Nya.. MerOn PaNg Iba DyaN
Na
PiniPigiLaN YunG naRaRaNdaMaN Nya KasI
HigH ScHoOL PaLaNg O Di Kaya TeEnAgER
PaLaNg, GuSto Nya KasIng MaGiNg siLa
NuNg
taOng Yon Sa paNahoNg seryosoHan
Na..YunG
SiGuraDo Na Sya Na Yung TaoNg Yon Nga
ang
GuSto NyanG makaSama PaNghaBanG
BuhaY..KumBaga "TAMANG PANAHON"..

ThErE's This QuOTaTioN SaYinG:

"i dont care how many lips u'vE kisd....
i dont care how many women u've embraced
i dont care how many ladies heard u say u
love dem....ol i care is d future...
not to be u'r FIRST but to be u'r LAST"..

MaSaRap MagmaHaL nG TaOng MahAL ka
Din..YunG feELiNg Nyo SouLmaTe Kayo..

KAYA KUNG PARA SAYO TALAGA
SIYA..ILANG
TAON MAN KAYO DI MAGKITA.. ILANG TAO
MAN ANG MAHALIN NIYA.. GAANO MAN SIYA
KALAYO O MARMI MANG HADLANG..
MAGKIKITA PA RIN KAYO KUNG TALAGANG
PARA KAYO SA ISA'T ISA...

pAg-iBiG???....

HinDi HinahaNap Yan..Kusa yAnG
duMaRaTinG sa "TAMANG PANAHON"..

time

it has been days since we last said anything to each other. all we had were glimpses but neither of us want to be the first one to talk. it sucks! believe me it does. i'm not used to this kind os set-up. every single day i feel that we're drifting farther away from each other that eventually we'll end up in opposite directions. nobody knows where and when but one thing is for sure.

i miss you.

i've endured months of loneliness when we parted ways. every day that passed by taught me to give it all up, to let it all go, to go on with my life without you in it. yes, that was what i wanted to to. my mind told me that i'm just wasting my emotions on the likes of you. that you are not worth it. my mind heeded me, but my heart kept on going, falling deeper and deeper each day.

after the incident last monday, i realized one thing. that my life would not be the same without you in it. but i have to do this. to stop all this pain inside. to finally forget you. both of you can have your peace. i won't bother you anymore. i wont waste my time trying to go after the two of you. it'a bout time that i first think of myself.

this is it.

kung ok lang sayo

yan ang song ng true faith na pinapakinggan ko ngayon. may halong saya at lungkot ang song na toh. masaya kasi ina assure na mahal nya talaga ung isa pero at the same time sad kasi natatakot siya baka walang mangyari sa efforts niya. wala lang. medjo nakakrelate ata ako o nasa senti mode lang ako...hahay...

coffee jelly

another hot summer day.

i crave for coffee jelly.

i want to see him.

he was supposed to bring it to me.

damn jollibee for not having it right now.

i'm stuck here in here.

my mind wandering.

thinking.

dreaming.

about that next cup of coffee jelly.

hopefully with him.

6, 8, 12, have you ever, before i let you go and the like

hahay...for the past days i was a witness to a series of both fortunate and unfortunate events. i saw andrea and jerry celebrate their first anniversary as a couple. i was one of the first people who knew that guy broke up with his bf. these are just some of the many things that happened during the week.

for me, nothing really happened with my good 'ol boring life. all i want right now is to get into the line up. i have to get in. it's my last year and i have to make the most out of it.

as for my lovelife, well, we have always been together for the past days. we go to class together, walk home after class and training, have shake at casaa and the like. happy. this is the word that one would assume that i feel right now. yes, i am happy. but no longer feel the same kilig moments i felt months ago.

i have, in a way, learned to let go of the pain that he caused me. though my my heart's still a bit broken, i have learned to overcome the loneliness i felt when we parted ways. i lost a big part of me when he left. and now, i'm trying to find myself again.

letting go. so easy to say yet so hard to do. but luckily, i'm doing good. i'm proud of myself. yes, is till have feelings for him. it is not easy to let it all go. all the good memories and times that we shared. that's all i've got.

i dont want to go one thinking of him. this blog became my refuge when i wanted to write down all my thoughts and feelings. the internet was my friend when i neede somebody to listen to what i had to say. the internet is the silent friend who never got tired of listning to all the shit that i had to say.

all i know is that i'm moving on.