Until now, I still can't get over the fact that I lost my phone. Swear. That phone meant so much to me. It was my companion during my boring days wherein I would go camwhoring all the way. It captured the treasured moments when no digicam was around. It traveled with me, sharing my love for discovering new places and experiences. It made me feel that all my loved ones were near even though we were miles apart.
But more than that, I could barely function at work. I can't go on like this, feeling all open and thinking that I might lose another article in my bag, or worse, my bag. Security is a big thing for me. I never expected that I'd lose my phone inside my very office. I thought it was the safest placed. Apparently, I was wrong. Every time I go out, I always feel that something is about to happen to my things. Talk about paranoia. Well, as they say, only paranoids survive.
I've already considered resigning. Most of you may think that it is a shallow reason to leave my work. How can I perform my best if at the back of my mind I keep on thinking about the safety of my belongings? How can I trust anybody when I know everybody is a suspect?
I try to think of it as my fault. That I misplaced it somewhere and nobody took it. Deep down inside, I know for a fact that I left it inside my bag. I don't have any suspects. As I said, everyone is a suspect.
Today, I was just so overwhelmed with work and the loss that I broke down. Tears were welling around my eyes while I was talking to my managers. If you know me well, I don't easily cry. Well, except while watching those cheesy bobo movies. But seriously, I don't. I refuse to do so. Too tough to cry huh...
Right then and there, I wanted to quit. I just want to move on, leave this behind and start anew. Sounds too dramatic, right?
Every time I wake up, the issue always bombards me. I dwell too much in the problem yet I could not even come up with a solution. Is there a problem? Ewan.
Honestly, more than the loss, my real issue here is the security and trustworthiness of my staff and colleagues. I don't know how long it will take for me to get over this.
Good thing, when I almost cried, I made it look like I was a soap opera actress. Haha! I'm crazy enough to think about my appearance when I was on the brink to tears. Haha! Well, I'm just trying to find humor in the sad situation.
*sigh*
XOXO
Mahaderang Fashionista
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